Need a smile? Go watch a kitten!

I have been on sick leave this week, with a nasty stomach bug, leaving me dizzy and weak.  I really needed a smile this week…

We have been thinking for a while now. Our Einstein Cat went on a walkabout 2 years ago, and still have not returned. But there are a lot of little grey and white kittens turning up all over the district.  Our lady cat, Pandora, is now the Queen of the Castle. She is the most peaceful cat, fitted with a diesel engine (it purrs a lot…)

We are being overran by a lot of the neighbours’ cats, making love or fighting World War III on our lawn every night. So I thought to start looking for another cat male. It must be ugly, his mother must have yielded her virtue to a Wild Cat one evening, and the kitten must be vicious. That is what I was looking for.

Then one of my wife’s fellow teachers, living on a farm outside of town, announced that her cat was molested in just such a way. And the kittens are now 6 weeks old.  So yesterday, while firmly clenching my sphincter muscles, we went to fetch our new wild beast- I do not wish to call it a pet… yet…

And here he is:

The face of a monster- turning grown cats into salt pillars...

The face of a monster- turning grown cats into salt pillars…

It still must earn it’s name. My thought would be “Terminator” or “Killer”. But the children are starting to call it “Eduardo”… And they usually win these fights… by pure numbers.

There are a few problems however (in a Jeremy Clarkson droopy voice…)  I never knew it would be so difficult to distinguish between the kittens sex organs to know if  it is a male. This kitten  monster’s mother was also named “Stoffel” because everyone thought it was a male, till it gave birth to the first litter of kittens… That must have been a surprise…

The second huge problem- our peaceful loving female cat, Pandora, suddenly became the vicious bitch out of hell. She hates the kitten, and wants to kill it.  Now I have two monsters on my yard, and it is not my mother in law and my wife… (*this time…).

This is the very first meeting between them- look at the demonic glare of Pandora’s eyes:

2013-10-16 16.55.58

But we are starting to train our monster to do all vicious kinds of things. It must be proficient in a vast array of weaponry and driving skills. A real terror in training, that is our Terminator Eduardo…

IMG_1029Before the SPCA or Greenpeace descends on me- we love kittens, and we look good after our cats, They are delicious in a Thai style samoosa… no, just joking.

But seriously, I need some advice to win my Pandora’s heart back, she just hates me and tells me and the kitten monster to Fffffffff….

The Red Bike outside Australian Masterchef Kitchen, Series 3

One of my biggest questions in life has finally been answered. But is a long story- I don’t like to keep things short…

My favourite television program is Australian Masterchef. I must say- this program has changed my perception of the Australian people a lot.  As a proud South African, we do not like the Aussies. They are just too good in cricket (sometimes… 🙂  ) and their rugby- the decent kind the rest  of the world can understand, not that Aussie rules funny stuff- is also sometimes ( 🙂 I know…) good.  We all know they come from hand-picked ancestors, Her Majesty’s best…  And there is the story of Breaker Morant– quite a bad bastard in our history…

Agggh mate, -get to the point, I hear the Aussies scream in their weak pale beers…

In any case- Masterchef Australia changed all that negative perceptions. Well, nearly all- do I really HAVE to like Shane Warne?

But the Aussies showed me they have a certain style of doing things, which I really like.  The American cooking competitions are so aggressive  and their judges really like to break the weakest link in the kitchen. And the Brits can be quite boring sometimes in the kitchen and bedroom.  Sorry Nigella. Sorry Gordon. Sorry Jamie…  maybe there are a few exceptions.

As I said in a droning voice already, the Aussies have a certain style of doing Masterchef. Their judges, Adam, George and Matt really love their food and their art of cooking. In the television series, I find that they are quite decent blokes, who do not go about negatively with the competitors. They challenge and inspire. They drive the competitors to give their best.  For the competitors it is a steep learning curve, it looks like one of the best experiences of their lives to participate. THe food they produce is spectacular, and I as viewer learn a lot as well. I did not know that they have such world class Michelin starred restaurants. The outdoor activities shows the viewer  a country of awesome beauty.  I am beginning to like Aussies… (except in that funny yellow Sporting gear…)  Maybe that is why half of my nation emigrated to Australia… 🙂

I know, I know, it is getting long and boring… but it IS workers day in South Africa, I couldn’t sleep anymore and am a little bored, so now I thought to bore you as well, maybe we can go back to sleep…

Anyway, somehow we always suck on the rear teat in SOuth Africa. We only now get to see Series 3, which was broadcasted in 2011 in Australia, and even in Ireland. I peaked on the internet yesterday and now know who won… we are in the final 8 of the series…

Let’s FINALLY get to the point. In Masterchef Australia, Series 3, there is a beautiful Red Motorbike standing just outside the door. One of life’s biggest questions in my mind was: Whose bike is it? And what is it?

So this morning, I decided to find out. (in a Jeremy Clarkson voice. Listen, BBC guys with the thick glasses and moustaches and checkbooks, if ever you plan a Top Gear for motorbikes, and need a fattish middle-age Stig for the job- call me…)

Whose bike is it? The television companies’ bike. Even the presenters are not allowed to ride it. Lawsuits etc- you never know when the handpicked ancestors’  genes kick in and it gets nicked…   Gary is the biker amongst the team, and owns his own Triumph. This is out of the mouth of Matt Preston himself.

The Bike? It is a Triumph Thruxton. I am a bad researcher, I can not find ONE photo of the real one standing outside the MCK on the Internet- can you help?

The Triumph Thruxton was named after a racing track of the 1960’s.

It is described by Triumph South Africa as:

Thruxton. The café racer. Reinvented.

Thruxton. Named after the race track where Triumph ruled the roost and inspired by the famous “Ton Up Boys” of the 60s. The Thruxton is Triumph’s sportiest classic, an authentic café racer delivering that unique Brit twin riding experience. Low rise bars, sporty riding position, aluminium-rimmed spoked wheels (18” front and 17” rear), megaphone style silencers and a modern 865cc parallel-twin engine. It stirs the heart for those around at the time and for those who seek the classic sporty retro cool….

Specifications for the Petrolheads: (2013 model)

Engine and Transmission
Type Air-cooled, DOHC, parallel-twin, 360º firing interval
Capacity 865cc
Bore/Stroke 90 x 68mm
Fuel System Multipoint sequential electronic fuel injection with SAI
Exhaust Stainless steel headers, twin chromed upswept silencers.
Final Drive X ring chain
Clutch Wet, multi-plate
Gearbox 5-speed
Oil Capacity 4.5 litres (1.2 US gals)
Chassis, Running Gear and Displays
Frame Tubular steel cradle
Swingarm Twin-sided, tubular steel
Wheel Front 36-spoke 18 x 2.5in, aluminium rim
Rear 40-spoke 17 x 3.5in, aluminium rim
Tyre Front 100/90 18
Rear 130/80 R17
Suspension Front KYB 41mm forks with adjustable preload, 120mm travel
Rear KYB chromed spring twin shocks with adjustable preload, 106mm rear wheel travel
Brakes Front Single 320mm floating disc, Nissin 2-piston floating caliper
Rear Single 255mm disc, Nissin 2-piston floating caliper
Instrument Display/Functions Analogue speedometer and tachometer with odometer and trip information
Dimensions and Capacities
Length 2150mm (84.6in)
Width (handlebars) 830mm (32.7in)
Height without mirrors 1095mm (43.1in)
Seat Height 820mm (32.3in)
Wheelbase 1490mm (58.6in)
Rake/Trail 27º/97mm
Fuel Tank Capacity 16 litres (4.2 US gals)
Wet Weight (ready to ride) 230 kg (506 lbs)
Performance (measured at crankshaft to 95/1/EC)
Maximum Power 69PS / 68 bhp / 51 kW @ 7400rpm
Maximum Torque 69Nm / 51 ft.lbs @ 5800rpm
Fuel Efficiency
Recommended Retail Price R92 500

This means that this bike is almost the same specs as my BMW R 850 R, I don’t need to buy one.

But: It is a beautiful bike!  Now you know…