I have been on sick leave this week, with a nasty stomach bug, leaving me dizzy and weak. I really needed a smile this week…
We have been thinking for a while now. Our Einstein Cat went on a walkabout 2 years ago, and still have not returned. But there are a lot of little grey and white kittens turning up all over the district. Our lady cat, Pandora, is now the Queen of the Castle. She is the most peaceful cat, fitted with a diesel engine (it purrs a lot…)
We are being overran by a lot of the neighbours’ cats, making love or fighting World War III on our lawn every night. So I thought to start looking for another cat male. It must be ugly, his mother must have yielded her virtue to a Wild Cat one evening, and the kitten must be vicious. That is what I was looking for.
Then one of my wife’s fellow teachers, living on a farm outside of town, announced that her cat was molested in just such a way. And the kittens are now 6 weeks old. So yesterday, while firmly clenching my sphincter muscles, we went to fetch our new wild beast- I do not wish to call it a pet… yet…
And here he is:

The face of a monster- turning grown cats into salt pillars…
It still must earn it’s name. My thought would be “Terminator” or “Killer”. But the children are starting to call it “Eduardo”… And they usually win these fights… by pure numbers.
There are a few problems however (in a Jeremy Clarkson droopy voice…) I never knew it would be so difficult to distinguish between the kittens sex organs to know if it is a male. This kitten monster’s mother was also named “Stoffel” because everyone thought it was a male, till it gave birth to the first litter of kittens… That must have been a surprise…
The second huge problem- our peaceful loving female cat, Pandora, suddenly became the vicious bitch out of hell. She hates the kitten, and wants to kill it. Now I have two monsters on my yard, and it is not my mother in law and my wife… (*this time…).
This is the very first meeting between them- look at the demonic glare of Pandora’s eyes:

But we are starting to train our monster to do all vicious kinds of things. It must be proficient in a vast array of weaponry and driving skills. A real terror in training, that is our Terminator Eduardo…
Before the SPCA or Greenpeace descends on me- we love kittens, and we look good after our cats, They are delicious in a Thai style samoosa… no, just joking.
But seriously, I need some advice to win my Pandora’s heart back, she just hates me and tells me and the kitten monster to Fffffffff….