Morphine inspired Funny days…

Last night I had another attack. The same kind that kept me from my favorite Argus Cycle Tour in February.

The attack of the little Gall bladder stones… they might be small, but they beat me 6-0 6-0 6-0.

On Wednesday my son turned 18.  I even asked permission to leave our Church Board Meeting (a very solemn occasion!) to take my son out for his first beer.  Then his mom and his brother also decided to come with. And son decided to only drink Cream Soda… did I really raise him right?

In any case, in South Africa the Spur is a countrywide steakhouse franchise, you would even find some examples in Europe, I saw one in the Liffey Mall in Dublin in 2006. Well, they have this special on Eisbein at the moment. You get a large Eisbein with Chips (sorry German friends, I know it should have been Sauerkraut and Mash- but not at the Spur).

It also comes with a 500 ml Castle Draught- any visitor to South Africa will get to know both the Spur and Castle Draught.  I was extremely thirsty after attending the first 1 3/4 hours of the Church Board Meeting. So the first Draught went down so smoothly. I just had to have another, and then hand over the keys of the car to Mrs Rider or son.  So- large amounts of Pork- sorry Spike!  And beer! Sorry all my abstaining friends.  I also enjoyed birthday cake with my son earlier that day.

On Thursday I went to visit some of our elderly church people, that can’t come to church anymore. I also shared bread and wine with them- a very informal Eucharist. I bought this fantastic loaf of bread at our supermarket for this purpose. Designer bread. Ciabata or something. And then, when I finished all the visits, I also finished the bread on the way home.  You see, for 3 months I did not have any gallstone attacks. I forgot… pork/ beer/ bread… Big problems… 

LAst night my wife made us a mutton stew. Just small pieces of mutton mind you, not our typical over the top South African indulgence into red meat.

At half pas ten the fun and games started. First it felt like slight indigestion. I took some anti-acid powder (Eno’s). Then it started hurting more- I took some pain pills. And then- just underneath the ribcage- that dreadful feeling like someone sticking a red hot knife into your gut… And all the time the pain escalates. The gallstones have a way of also hurting my back. I tried being strong and manly for an hour.

Then I pleaded with Mrs Rider to just shoot me. Or phone our doctor. Whichever could take me out of my misery first. For some reason my wife chose the doctor instead. It was our doctor’s night off, and he went to bed early. He is really a hardworking and compassionate man. He is also in our church. So he asked my wife to drag me to his house. And there he proceeded with another nightmare of mine. Not one, but three injections…  They say gallbladder stone attacks are at least as painful as childbirth… respect to all moms! Well, I would have accepted a 9 millimeter parabellum round last night to end the pain. So I did not mind the injections at all.

So today, I started eating the right stuff again, mostly green. I mostly avoided meat, and beer, and birthday cake.  I am terrified that that pain will return.

Today, two of my sons played excellent rugby. Both their teams won our hated neighbouring town’s teams.

This afternoon I had to marry a young couple. I only found out WHERE last night! I thought I knew the WHEN- 4 pm this afternoon. But then my phone rang at 3:15 pm and it is the bridegroom, politely asking where I was. Fortunately they married in a picture perfect small little church 400 meters from my house.  I got dressed and there in 5 minutes, and was still there before the bride!

So since half past 11 last night, with the soft kiss of morphine, the world feels like a little fluffy cloud.  I am tired, I sleep a lot.

And yes- today I also successfully put new windows channel rubber on a door of my son’s Beetle.

Morphine, used in the right way, for pain as given by a doctor, is such a wonderful thing! Maybe it is even better to say: It sure is fun when you have a day without pain!

What inspired all this nonsense? My new friend over at is preparing Eisbein in her flat in Cape Town tonight… I LOVE Eisbein! But Eisbein apparently does not love me anymore…



33 thoughts on “Morphine inspired Funny days…

  1. Pingback: Eisbein and Rhubarb Epic | flippenblog's Blog

  2. Het jy regtig galstene? Ek het raad! En hoewel dit vreemd eenvoudig klink, werk dit regtig!!! Dit het my ma gesond gemaak en ‘n operasie voorkom.( die dokters wou sommer haar galoblaas verwyder het omdat sy so ‘n groot galsteen gehad het en elke keer so siek was) Die resep is deur ‘n naturopaat aan haar gegee, ongevraag en ons het glad nie eers geglo daarin nie, maar sy is permanent van daar die aaklige pyn en naarheid genees . right hier volg dit: Raad teen galstene:Drink vir 4 dae lank net appelsap, soveel as wat jy wil, hoe meer hoe beter. As jy nie 4 dae kan volhou nie, dan 3 dae, maar probeer vir 4 dae. (appelsap maak galstene sag en verbrokkel dit). Die 4de aand neem jy ‘n lee heuningbotteltjie en gooi een sesde olyfolie en een sesde suurlemoensap in. Skud goed en drink net voor slaaptyd. Slaap daardie aand net op die regtersy ( dit het te doen met jou peristaltiese bewegings, want die galstene moet nou uit). Nou is jy gesond maar moet eers weer leer eet. Die 5de dag; drink net sop gemaak van kool, wortels, pietersielie en seldery. ( dis om jou maag weer gewoond te maak aan kos. Jy kan maar bietjie sout bysit en dis nogal baie lekkerders as wat dit klink). Die 6de dag: Eeet net gestoomde groente( geen botter ens nie). Sewende dag: eet net gestoomde groente en gestoomde vis. Right : nou is jy reg vir die lewe en kan weer eert wat jy wil. Maar wag miskien nog so ‘n 2-3 dae en dan……..eisbein, sonder nagevolge!

  3. Vosper, for heavens sake !!! – what are you going to do about the gallstones ? You can’t go on like this …Surely there’s medication that dissolves them, or something ?

      • Ah ! – I put it through the Translator and it all makes sense. Although the thought of 4 days on apple-juice makes me feel faint, if I had gallstones (which I don’t because I no longer have a gallbladder !) I believe I’d do anything in the world !!!

        • I an going to try it! That pain drives me to try anything to avoid it. I am still as issued, even with tonsils and appendix, would like to stay that way a little longer!

        • My mom had severe attacks usually at night after a good dinner, and it gradually got worse until it was about once a week. She was really ill with intense pain, nauseus( sp?) and vomiting. It came to the point where she was scared to eat supper in case it might trigger an attack. The doctor’s sonar revealed big gall stones and they wanted to remove the gallbladder. But before she went for the op( which she really did not want to do due to various reasons,) we got this advice from a friend who had the same problem and whose daughter is a naturopath.The diet healed her too. My mom was really to ill to eat, so the 4 days apple juice was no big problem except that it left a bitter taste in her mouth. The friend said it is because it works on the gall. So after the 7 day diet she started eating normally and NEVER had another attack, untill she passed away about 15 years later!

          • Too late for me, alas ! – and I had NO IDEA what my pain was due to until I was taken in to Emergency and they outed my gallbladder. But it’s extremely good that Vosper is going to give it a go; you make sure you keep on his case, OK ? 🙂

            • So sorry it is too late for you I hope you are fine now. .I believe you about the pain. Have seen my mother in agony! I hope he tries it. Most people I have spoken to just does not believe that it will work. And it does!

  4. Great post mister…
    Haha, no offence at all. I’d say have some for me, and a jar of ale too… but, oh dear, I think your boss was trying to tell you these things are not good for you. Been there, done that, so the saying goes 😀
    Get well soon and enjoy the visit of Mr Morphine.

  5. I was very upset on a recent visit to Spur to see they no longer have Eisbein on the menu. Are you telling me it’s back? I think Sunday lunch just sorted out itself.

    Good luck with the pain. I hope you don’t have to preach tomorrow morning, what with floating on clouds and all.

  6. I pray you feel better soon! I had my gall bladder removed a couple of years ago, but that is not without its resulting difficulties, as well. So, eat well and avoid surgery as long as you can.

  7. Oh you wally!!! That’s the first I’ve ever heard of the minister being late to the wedding lol! Follow your sensible son’s example and keep off the beer. I know what the pain is like, I had kidney stones during a really bad bout of my Crohn’s. Beer and I have not had any kind of relationship for almost 20yrs now 🙂 Have the docs considered removing your gall bladder? I’ve been managing to avoid morphine for about the last 8 months but I do still have to take tramadol and diazepam for the fibro if I overdo it! Sometimes the hospitals give a course of antibiotics for gall bladder problems as well as pain relief. Really hope it settles down soon and you’re feeling better!

  8. Hehe. Nou verstaan ek. Dankie vir die mention. Mooi Afrikaans ek weet. Van iemand sonder n galblaas aan n ander met stene, ek weet waarvan jy praat! Pethadene se ek vir jou, pethadine main line is al wat daai pyn wegvat.

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