Predator and Prey in Africa

In Africa, most of the killing happen at night. Only the strong will survive.

There are so many ways to die in Africa.
You have probably heard about the Big Five. Lets run through them.

  • The Lion– With his mighty roar-much, much worse than Katy Perry’s roar, he paralizes you with fear. Then his ten ladies gets you, silent but deadly. One moment you hear a whisper in the grass, then you see amber eyes, and then… The Darkness…
  • The Leopard– He doesn’t like you, you are a funny baboon to him. But when he gets old- watch out! He stalks you, and jumps on you from behind, breaking your neck. Then he tenderises you by dragging your carcass into a high tree, so that the hyena and jackall dont get to eat you. There he leaves you until ripened to his tste…
  • The Cape Buffalo– he really needs anger management classes. Especially if you were stupid enough to wound him. He will stalk you, and with those crooked horns he will rip your inners out. He will then stomp you,and in disgust leave you bleeding for the hyena.

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    Cute baby- don’t mess with his mommy…

  •  The Elephant– he was quite peaceful towards you as a human. He eats grass and leaves, not you. But after humans killed most of them to make piano keys (think Paul McCartney singing “Ebony and Ivory”)  Elephants dont like pianos or the funny monkeys that play them. So he will storm you and with that hugy body he is much faster than you. He will throw you cartwheeling high into the air, and where you splsh down he will use his ivory to gore you like a kebab, and then stomp you. He then leaves you as a McFlurry for the jackal to drink you through a straw. Think juice extractor- That is Mr Ivory…
  • The Hippopotamus- he looks so deceptively cute and peaceful. Did you see his mouth? His teeth? Dont be fooled, of all the Big 5 he has the most stuffed human heads as trophies on his wall. He outruns you and bites you in half.
  • The rhinoceros– he was also dangerous. But he is dropping out of the Big 5 (That is why I have put the Leopard in…) , as dangerous as a Tyrannosaurus Rex. The last one will be poached by a gentleman from Mozambique  with an AK 47 soon. Why? Because a lot of Asian men with extremely short horns believe that Rhino horn will make them beeg and strooong. But they will never be up to the task. They will still have tiny weiners. Like Shania Twain sings: That don’t impress much. While the Rhinos are gone soon, some advice for Mr Small Thingy- the ground horn of rhino poacher works much better for your purpose!

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    Beautiful opportunity, BAD camera…

So no, the chance that a Rhino will kill you is quite small… They could do that when they were still around and had horns.

No Katy, there are no Tigers roaring in Africa, except in zoos.

There are a lot of other killers in Africa too. The crocodile is bad news. And even the smallest antilopes have killed humans when they rip open a main artery in your leg.

But the very worst killer n Africa, except the rebel with the AK 47, is the mosquito.
Here in Africa they can be huge.I overheard a conversation between a mosquito and his lady on my ceiling last night. He asked her: “What do you fancy, my love? Shall we dine in or do take aways with him?” Fortunately they dined in. I hate walking miles back home. As it is I need a blood transfusion to get up this morning. I am severely wounded and sucked dry this morning.

Africa is a dangerous place at night!

Flower Friday- Yellow Gazania

 

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Today might seem a little boring around here! I think the yellow colour is the base colour of the Gazania flower, all the other exotics have been bred from this. The Yellow Gazania is very hardy, and can take drought extremely good. This one is standing near my swimming pool in the back yard. 

This is all I have time for today. I have just seen the young couple that I am marrying tomorrow afternoon. And now I am waiting for 11 o’ Clock, then I have to conduct yet another funeral, it has been a weekly occurance now for the last few weeks. I believe there will be more interesting posts again soon… Enjoy your blogging, and take care!

The Friendly Rider…

 

Three for Cee

http://ceenphotography.com/2013/11/19/cees-fun-foto-challenge-three-items-or-the-number-three/

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Three little monsters bearing my name… Three little Nyalas going on auction

Three little Nyalas going on auction 

 

Three wise men... maybe not yet...

Three wise men… maybe not yet… 

I don’t have that many photos of threes- so I present these three. The last one was edited a lot, it was taken on a family holiday at a guest house- the original looked like this:To keep or lose the Kudu head- that is the question. I don't like stuffed trophies. But some do...

To keep or lose the Kudu head- that is the question. I don’t like stuffed trophies. But some do… 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Confusion is my middle name…

Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/11/18/daily-prompt-confusion/

Tell us about a time when you felt out of place.

Photographers, artists, poets: show us CONFUSION.

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Well, once upon a time, long long ago, somewhere around February 1967, I first stepped upon your planet.  The Arrivals terminal was a bad experience!  The doctor beat me up, they were only happy when I screamed at them. Since that sunny summers day (South Africa, remember) I have felt out of place on this planet.

But sometimes life down here can be quite good. What would life in the universe be without Queen’s music?  What would life be without Nelson deMille’s books?

I found a member of your species, that I grew quiet attached to, wouldn’t want to live without her!

Somehow there came another 4 half earthlings forth in my earthly home, and I decided to keep them. But they eat a lot, and aren’t quite as small as that day that the doctor also whacked their little bottoms… I found earthly doctors to be quite aggressive. Especially at the Arrivals desk of your planet.

There are some times when I do not feel out of place. In the arms of my earth woman, for a good start.
Also, when I do get on a motorcycle- now that is a good invention until you guys figure anti- gravity out and make them fly…

Sometimes the way you guys get energy can also be quite acceptable. The best of your species must be the Italians, for pizza- that could do on any planet in this universe…  And the Italians also brought you Ferrari and Aprilia and Ducati, and their girls… after my earth woman- they are the best! The French also do good fuel with their Michelin chefs, but their vehicles are rubbish… Their members with the XX chromosome in the 42nd strand are also quite alright…

While I am on your planet, I love to climb aboard that Airbus A380 thingy. It is quite small and slow, but so reminds me of home. It is good to go to other places on your planet. But it costs a lot! There should be a revolution to make travel a human right, and it must be free. Rather tax politicians to death…

It looks as if I am stuck on this planet for maybe 80 rotations around your star. But before I head for Departures- I still have to see the Redwoods in California. They are the most splendid living things in this Milky Way!

Now go and enjoy your daily rotation of the earth!

Intergalactic Rider

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Earthlings’ Cooling Fluids are quite good!

Layers on the Camino- Weekly Photo Challenge

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/11/15/weekly-photo-challenge-layers/

On the Camino de Santiago, I was impressed by different layers to be seen…

Different layers of Horizons to be seen...

Different layers of Horizons to be seen…

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Layers of roof tiles to keep us dry…

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Layers of Pilgrims snoring at night…

Layers of stinky at the door...

Layers of stinky at the door…

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Layers of dead people in the countryside…

Layers of delicious pulpo...

Layers of delicious pulpo…

Layers of beauty- Gothic Cathedrals, Stained Glass windows, Gregorian music...

Layers of beauty- Gothic Cathedrals, Stained Glass windows, Gregorian music…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To Be, or not to be on Bitstrips, that is the Question…

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I first saw it on facebook. I thought my daughter is busy drawing a lot of cartoons in her exam time. But then the same kind of comic strips started popping up in a lot of other people’s profiles too. People I know that can not draw anything worth a damn… people like me.

Then I followed on of the people’s links, right to Bitstrips doorstep…

Before I knew it, I was a comic character too. I used my first try to let my daughter know she must study a bit harder for the exams.

At first it was really funny, seeing the people I know, seeing themselves through comic book eyes.

But after a day or two it lost it’s shine, when the same message pops up fifty times, only with different names. People giving each other celestial high fives. People barfing in green all over the screen. People sitting in little tents, looking at each other.

Maybe this is one of the things I thought about when I am starting to slide over the edge. We now are all comic book characters. We fit ourselves comically into other people’s boxes. We have another toy.

I enjoy my social media. I have been on facebook for quite a long time, since when the Dead Sea was still sick…  I am on twitter. At 140 characters I send my messages into the cyberspace. I am on flikr, I save my pics for the family to see. I am on dropbox, no sermon or work document may die at the hands of a nasty virus. I am on instagram, and now pinterest.  And I am now on Bitstrips…

With all the social media, our communication possibilities have broadened so much- I now have friends all over the world.  My wordpress friends are on all continents of the world, I only have to yet reach someone on the South Pole bases.

The problem is- with all the width of communication, our depth of communication became very shallow. We can chat a lot on all our toys.  But sometimes I need to sit around a camp fire, drink a glass of red wine with a good friend, and speak more than 140 characters. Or stay silent all night long. Without having to put a smiley face 🙂 up or pushing any Like buttons…

Communication, we have learned at university, is only 6 % words, and more than 80% body language and facial expression.

With facebook and twitter we have lost all but 6 % of our communication skills. And with Bitstrips the last 6% have become a joke…